


He Remembers

by Nebula_Angel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anger, Character Study, F/M, Grief, Mentions of Death, Suicide mention, but I do kind of like it too, this is super short and kind of bad, very briefly but it's there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 16:18:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebula_Angel/pseuds/Nebula_Angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"On the worst days, Harry Potter remembers all of the dark things that happened to him. But he always remembers to remember the good things that happened too. "</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Remembers

On bad days, Harry is tempted to rage until his throat bleeds from the sounds of his anger and sadness. He wants to shout from the highest building in their little village that they shouldn't have died. He'd scream their names from the top of his lungs. Mum, dad, Cedric, Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Fred, Colin, Snape, Dumbledore, and all of those others. He usually just goes to the little graveyard in Godric's Hollow, though, and visits his parents' grave, and tells them everything. It doesn't exactly help, not the way he wants it to. They can't reply, can't soothe his hurt and put the balm of a parent's love over the memories that still sting. 

On better days, Harry looks at his children and sees what they fought for. He sees the future everyone died for in his son James talking non stop about the newest development in magical medicine. He sees what so many risked - and lost - their lives for when Al starts waving the newest film taking the Wizarding World by storm around, and taking diligent notes over cinematography and location shoots after he's watched the same one eight times. Sometimes when Lily pulls that bow back and shoots dead in the center, he sees the energy his dad must have once possessed, specifically, especially when she applies that aim to honing her abilities as a Chaser. Al is the most like Harry, James Sirius the most like Lily Evans, and Lily Luna the most like James Potter the First. He tries to let them be their own people, but sometimes it's hard when everything they say or do is a reminder of what he lost. 

On the worst days, he shuts himself in his office and makes himself remember. He remembers Quirrell, in that underground room with the mirror, the first life he took. He remembers the Chamber, and seeing Ginny lifeless on the floor as he listened to the first of many Villain's Monologues. He remembers third year, and meeting Sirius after thinking he was at fault. He remembers seeing Peter get away, seeing Remus transform and the obvious pain it cause. He remembers the dementors sucking at his soul, and at Sirius', and then the mysterious patronus from across the lake. He remembers the Tournament. He remembers Crouch, Cedric, Frank the Muggle, and the ministry employee who gave Voldemort the foundation on accident. He remembers that terrible resurrection where his own blood was taken forcibly. He remembers the terror accompanied his fifth year, with the campaign to discredit him, and Umbridge and her quill. He remembers Dumbledore's Army, the youth so desperate to learn and protect themselves. He remembers the Ministry battle and Sirius falling through the Veil. He remembers the summer after, where he seriously considered ending his own life, so he wouldn't feel the pain anymore. He remembers his sixth year, and the hunt for Horcruxes, delving into what little of Tom Riddle's actions they had access to, finding out what he had hidden. He remembers nearly killing Malfoy and Ginny, Ginny, Ginny. He remembers going to the cave and seeing Dumbledore fall from the tower. 

He wants to skip that brutal hunt for Horcruxes the most, but he owes it to the people who gave their lives to remember ever grueling moment of the 9 months they were gone. The lack of food and terrible weather that plagued them the entire time. He remembers Ron leaving, and Bathilda turning into Nagini. He remembers the Snatchers, and Malfoy Manor, and Dobby. He remembers every terrible, horrifying moment of that Final Battle that ended Tom Riddle for good, but also ended so many wonderful other. 

Later, when he is done remembering those things, he will start on the good. Ginny finding him after the Battle, meeting Teddy for the first time, all of those weddings that followed - even in the wake of funerals - and the babies. He remembers repairing his relationship with Malfoy to something resembling civility, and getting that first Christmas card from Dudley. He remembers the exuberant joy he felt when he got married to Ginny, and how much that joy increased when each of his children were born. 

On the worst days, Harry Potter remembers all of the dark things that happened to him. But he always remembers to remember the good things that happened too.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this very much on the fly after thinking about the series. It's not edited except by me as I wrote it, and it's very much my first fanwork in this particular fandom in a very long time. That being said, I am kind of proud of this.


End file.
